Falling in Love, with yourself…
Madison’s Blog: Truths from the Mad Lasher
February…ahhhhh, L’amour!!! Brings to my mind’s eye, pictures of candle lit bubble baths, hearts, chocolates, red hearts & the color pink! It can also make me contemplate the crazy society expectations; coupledom, roses, chocolates, V-day cards, gifts etc…and most importantly, it makes me self-reflect on how I am caring for myself. We seemingly go at a crazy pace on a never ending basis. There’s our significant other, children, friends, school, PTA, running our own business, work, volunteering, homework, making lunches, dinners, breakfasts ect… (and I know there is much more) The list seems endless. So, I can’t help but wonder, why do so many women (and men) NOT put themselves on the list? Why do we show everyone else how much we love them while neglecting our own bodies, lives & happiness? Are we purposeful martyrs? Or our we asleep?
I was guilty of this for a very, very, long time. I was in the medical world and always taking care of patients, which unconsciously translated into taking care of everyone else first. It took a lot of lessons (some not so pleasant) for me to learn the importance of putting on “my own oxygen mask first” i.e.: self-care. This is NOT an act of selfishness. It is exactly the opposite! This is how to maintain yourself in this crazy paced life the majority of us live. It doesn’t have to be elaborate either. It can be simple, as long as it makes you happy, relaxes you, and makes you feel loved. This can mean something as simple as taking a bubble bath at night to relax (regardless of the day) OR taking a day a week for a busy Mom, (who is always doing everything for everyone else day after day) to get help one day a week, so she can go to Yoga, get her nails & lashes done as well as be with girlfriends for that day, without the feeling of being rushed or guilty. I know, I know, I can hear you now; “easy for you to say, your single!”… Honestly, it doesn’t matter if we are single or not. It’s about (in my opinion) boundaries and SELF-LOVE!
Most of us, not all, but quite a few, take better care of everyone else before we check in with ourselves. Unfortunately, a lot of people wait until something is not comfortable before noticing. OMG! do I really weight that? The scale must be broken! Oh, well, I’ll keep wearing yoga pants, after all, God would not have made them if we weren’t meant to wear stretchy stuff!? Right? We are on auto-pilot, in a rapidly moving society. Often, is not until we are forced to come to a halt that we take the time to notice. Maybe we have given up on exercise, maybe we are squishy in places that used to be firm, or forgone simple beauty treatments that once made us feel so feminine or maybe we have just become complacent because, let’s face it, life can be a lot!
That is exactly why I am a proponent of self-care for women & men. Remember back when you were dating? Or perhaps you’re in the dating world now…there are some things that have stood the test of time! What am I talking about you wonder?? LOL…the Art of Dating! In any era, in either gender, men & women both took care of themselves entering courtship. What do we happily and always do when we go out with our girl posse? OR meet someone new that catches our eye? We get dressed in nice clothes, put on our best face, we work out, we glow from within, we are putting in time & effort! What’s the first thing people do when they go thru a break-up? A divorce? A job loss? They make an effort to take care of themselves so that they can feel good and put their best self forward to start & create anew. In other words, we date ourselves! Somewhere along the way, it gets lost in the day to day crazy of life for most of us. Prioritizing yourself, putting your own oxygen mask on first, allows us to be a better version of ourselves for everyone we love AND our own sense of self.
Sometimes change is immediate, and sometimes it can creep on up slowly… things are snug, we feel tired, it’s a busy week, we are overwhelmed, ect… and then it happens! (at least it did for me) I went to put on my loose baggy “make me feel skinny” boyfriend jeans and the zipper sides were 3 inches apart! I looked like the ad for the PMS commercial on tv! OMG! WTHek happened? Well, my friends, for me…. I created a new life that I love: “lashing”… which means I sit on my tush ALL DAY long! Which I have never done before. I am a bit more vintage chronologically, I don’t burn the calories the way I used to…and a million other little things… it just crept up on me and when I looked at myself in the mirror (gulp!) a la natural… I saw a version of myself that I didn’t want to be. It just wasnt the best, healthiest version of me. So, I got my plump & squishy self to the gym. I started by walking on the treadmill listening to books on Audible! I listened to Jen Cincerro, You Are a BadAss!, I made myself sweat, I moved, and I learned how to eat for my new vintage self. I bitched & moaned a bit, but I felt better! My zipper got closer to zipping up after a few months, my “tired” at the end of the day wasn’t so tired anymore. I had more energy, I glowed, I was happier and I was feeling sexier! Now, I have new activities that bring me JOY! This girl LOVES her Pickleball & HOT Yoga!! Wherever you are, with whatever you are doing…I offer this: make sure you are happy, you are loved, you feel great, you take care of you! Everything else is small stuff! One fabulous life, one fabulous YOU! Treasure it, honor it, care for it, LOVE YOURSELF!
So, on this Valentine’s day, I offer this up to you, you lovely gorgeous lady…LOVE yourself FIRST!
When you LOVE yourself MADLY, MIRACLES will HAPPEN!
Wishing you an amazing day of self-love, self-care and whatever else your heart desires!
Always with Love & Gratitude-