The Happiness Factor…

For as long as I can remember, being “happy” was important to me. I wasn’t one to settle for merely ok, or fine. I needed and sought out happiness. As a child, there were many very unhappy times, and I sure did not grow up in a “Leave it to Beaver” (aging myself here!) household. There were also some happy times, and it was then I realized the “Power of Happiness”… How it made me feel, how it effected others, how energy shifted in a split second, ect… The sheer power of a laugh, a smile, a hug that warmed me, it was instant. The happiness waves it sent out were instant too. Everyone was effected by the happiness… I have since named it my HF or Happiness Factor. It is the criteria from which I operate as a person in the world, a business owner and a friend. On a conscience level, (sub-conscious is always a bit tricky!) I have found it to be pretty loaded for many people. What do I mean by that? Well, deep dive, here we go…

It is my experience, that many people don’t always know straight away what makes them happy. Let me be clear; I am referring to a truly, deeply, soulfully happy. Not just superficial giggles. As a child, I learned this at a very young age, and I also learned how changing myself for others would make THEM happy, but not necessarily myself. This I would come to truly figure out in my late 20’s early 30’s… (I know! A bit slow on the learning curve!) but none the less, I got a really great grip on it. As with anything in life, there is a Yin & Yang… some peeps get upset, angry, frustrated and down right annoyed when I chose my happy over whatever they wanted for me or as I have learned; “what they thought I was to become or capable of”. When I surpassed that, people had to go there own way, as I was seeking my happiness. As a non-conformist, this was a bit of an issue. I can remember being called a “rebel”, stubborn, hard-headed ect… but in reality, I knew what I wanted and to be a “sheep” among the crowds and follow for the sake of fitting in, just wasn’t me. I was more comfortable with one or two friends versus many. It was never a huge deal to me that I didn’t follow the crowd but my happiness factor mattered, in a huge way. It is here that I felt my gift was to help others find their own happiness. I wanted everyone to feel that internal joy I felt following my heart even if it didn’t make me popular. Newsflash; It usually didn’t!

As a business owner, in an intimate setting, I have the opportunity, and the blessing to share in peeps happy moments and not so happy moments. It is in my discovery of years in patient/client care, I have found that money doesn’t equal happiness (Harry & Meghan) (Hollywood suicides) (although it can mask the challenges well & keep people distracted) but at some point in our lives there is a wish list of “what I shoulda, woulda, coulda done” OR an awakening or even a time when we are facing our own mortality … it is in these moments people share what they feel would have made them happy, happier, or even just taken a risk on… when they think there is no more time left or that they are “stuck” in their situation … the shift in perspective becomes like the sun glaring at you from the beach … and you left your RayBans at home….

Okay, so why the deep dive? Where’s the light hearted verbal ginsu of my blog? My chop, slice & dice of verbal warfare? Well, I was conflicted about what I wanted to write about… You see, I had a mental & physical crash, I do every 3-4 months. My energizer battery just gives out and I am oh, so tired! I mean sheer exhaustion! I’m in the pink bunny suit beating my drum and then I just don’t!! I mean serious lethargy… and it is during this time, I binge…and this time it was the tv series; “This is Us”…Oh, pang on the Ol’ heart strings! … the conflict came about when I also wanted to write about customer service, being in the service / client care industry… so when I pondered both, it came down to a commonality of happiness…

For those of you that don’t know “This is Us”… (I highly recommend and give it 5*!!) it’s a 4 season (up until now) series following a family, the Pearsons. Their three children, nicknamed the Big Three… twins, which were originally triplets, one died at birth, so they adopted an abandoned newborn before they left the hospital) their lives, what shaped them, and every possible relationship issue a person OR family could have. I found the way the writers presented the characters, the situations, the challenges were so absolutely real, (and quite unexpected) it in fact helped me navigate some feelings (subconscious) I had about my childhood, how I saw my parents, how my view is different from my siblings, and that we do the best we have with what we know… and how we can choose to change our relationships with others moving forward. We can choose to forgive or we can hang on to the sadness forever in a backpack on our backs, weighing us down, carrying the weight physically & mentally…literally. The diversity of the cast brings such a great authenticity to the dialog / storylines. I can completely understand WHY it has won so many awards in so many different categories… and here’s a secret; a few years back I had so much garrr-barrge going on in my life, I had no and I mean zero, zip interest in watching something so real… I wanted nothing but the Vampire Diaries on my radar ! …because it didn’t make me happy …then.

Ahhh, so here comes “perspective”… the lens in which we view our lives, our gorgeous very chic rose colored glasses, our own version of reality… My perspective back a few years was this; I’ve got enough going on, the proverbial “fit hitting the shan” over & over again…I need light hearted Disney, Sexy Vampire stuff when I watch something… I have noticed how my own perspective has changed, dare I say “Growth?”… or perhaps it is just that bit of time, where I was & what I had going on that colored my view?… What made me happy at that time? Here’s the deal; No one owes us anything. It is completely up to us to take responsibility for ourselves and our lives and do what it takes to create our own happiness. Many of us were not dealt the silver spoon award… but that doesn’t mean you can’t take that experience and weave the knowledge from it into a beautiful new happiness… It’s a choice. You CHOOSE Happiness…

Fast forward to customer service… Oh, so important! In a time where peeps can go anywhere to get anything, WHAT makes you stand out? Is it your space? Is it your skill? Your service? WHAT makes your clients come back time & time again. Do you seek to make them truly happy? Do you show them gratitude? When they have a concern OR complaint, WHAT is your response? Do you listen? Do you try to fix it? Do you apologize? Do you THANK them for allowing you to fix it? OR do you make excuses? Do you shift the blame? Do you get defensive? I ask because the reality is YOU DON’T HAVE A BUSINESS w/out them… Say what?! THEY are what allow you to do you. To create, to serve, to provide whatever it is that you do… It is absolutely IMPERATIVE that you do your very best to make them happy… I do my best. I don’t always succeed, but I do, honestly put my best foot forward and consider each person that walks / graces my studio and think; How can I be of service? What makes them happy today? Is it a hug? An ear, a restful shoulder to lean on should times get real? I can say this, sometimes, it’s a cup of coffee a chat and a reschedule… because what I have found in my studio is making my clients happy, makes me very, very happy. It is truly in being of service in anyway I can (and lord knows your ears would burn if you only knew what happens behind my doors!) (it’s also why I don’t have Alexa.. I don’t trust her!)

Here’s the deal…(in my opinion, obvs) Life is short enough!! HAPPINESS MATTERS! It’s not something to be poo-pooed (spelling?) It is proven scientifically that happiness gives you a longer life, prevents disease (diss-ease) in your body, sends your brain waves into nirvana and relaxes your muscles, brings about peace… In my life, I have found that Happiness is paramount to an amazing life… I once asked a patient years ago, who was going thru a divorce at age 43, what made him happy… the saddest response ever that I still remember to this day; “Good question, Madison. I have no idea. I have spent my life doing what everyone else wants me to do”

Don’t let that be you… Spend time figuring it out, if you don’t know. Drop the excuses, dust off the journal, have the heart to heart, take the road trip, sell the (insert whatever it is here)… This is a once in a life time movie we are all in… we are the stars of our own show… Are you going to be a Box-Office Blast? or go straight to video? I myself, am shooting for a very popular R rating, Happiness Factor 10 !! We only go around once, and if we do it right, once will be enough!!

What is your happiness factor? Trust me, it freakin’ matters!

In Gratitude,

xo Madison

Ps… I would LOVE to hear what makes you happy…. email me! Madison@LotusLashStudio.org